On silver linings

Folks, I am sorely disappointed. I have just learned that Decorex, my favourite interior design exhibition, has been COVID’d and will not now take place as planned in October. They are planning a virtual replacement. It will be interesting to see how that works out – better I think if Touchavision had already been invented. Nothing beats actually handling a fabric, particularly a fabric like linen.

I am all the more disappointed as earlier this year I applied and was accepted as an Exhibitor at the show. I was going to have a stand – H210 to be exact – and display my fabric in all its Technicolor glory. I had IDEAS about how it would look, featuring beautiful photography by my friend Tadej and interesting sculptural displays fashioned by the Boyfriend’s own hands. (The Boyfriend is absurdly talented. Really, it shouldn’t be allowed.) Everyone was going to be blown away by it. Mind you, I did have to rein myself, and the Boyfriend, in a bit when I realised that a 1 x 3 m stand is not so big and that a degree of editing would be necessary. Still, it was going to be Fabulous. I would get to talk face to face to folks, you know, actual people who are not my friends and family, and who would give me impartial feedback on my designs. I was so looking forward to getting out of my own echo chamber.

And now, now I’m not quite sure what’s next. My Dad, ever helpful, hit on the idea of going into the mask-making business. “It’s a growth area,” said he. Which is true. I confess I am not so keen on mask wearing. I find them constricting and so, so hot. I feel like I’m having a constant hot flush when wearing one. And my glasses fog up. And I can’t use lipstick, the only bit of make up I wear. And there’s all the negative imagery around muggers and other mask-sporting ne’er-do-wells. The Boyfriend reckons that the mugging business is also set to be growth area. It really is an ill wind…

Still, needs must and all that. My lovely neighbour L, a dab hand with a sewing machine, offered to make masks for the Boyfriend and me from my fabric. Well, I thought, if I have to wear the damn thing, I may as well look fabulous while doing so. And of course linen is inherently antibacterial. Yes, yes, I know it’s a virus and not a bacterium but let’s take all the positives we can get.

I traded her a pot of homemade rhubarb, orange and cardamom jam for four masks. She did an amazing job. They fit perfectly and absolutely no foggy glasses. I asked the Boyfriend to take a photo of me wearing mine for my Instagram feed, though I will have to do something about my hair. The roots are almost to my ears now.  “Ah,” said he, “never mind about that. I have a better idea. We should Photoshop them onto the characters from Mortal Kombat, you know, Sub-Zero and Scorpion (no idea… he had to Google and show me). You could then use the strapline…” Cue music (dun, dun, dun)

“…COVID COMBAT – it has begun

There is a mask for everyone”

Ha! He was so delighted with the idea, I was persuaded to don the requisite hoods and masks.

 

What do you think? Is it a goer? Should I prevail upon L to strap herself to the sewing machine and start production? Let me know…!